Weekend o' Pain part 2

With the wireless turned on I can write from the trenches, and I'm here to report that all is not well. Sandy has a ginormous lotsa-inches-sized TV, which means that some of these films are getting the best presentation they've ever had, but it doesn't really increase their entertainment value.

We started around noon with College Girl Murders (Ken's pick), a "crimi" movie filmed in Germany but set in England. The plot centers around murders committed with an undetectable poison that turns out to be totally unnecessary. There were a number of pretty girls in wacky '60s fashions, sea turtles in aquaria, an alligator pit, and a whip-wielding monk in a red robe and hood. Weird how that description sounds a lot better than the movie we actually saw.

Next up (my pick) was Hand of Death with John Agar. Everyone in the room was impressed with how Agar's character eventually comes to resemble the earliest version of Ben Grimm from the Fantastic Four, down to the trench coat and hat. The highlight of this picture came early with a wacky dream sequence with dancing beakers and test tubes.

Sandy wanted to show War of the Robots, but Ken wheedled him into showing Robowar, which Sandy had previously mentioned as a film with Reb Brown in it. So instead of girls in silver space bikinis we got a robot clad in leather hunting down the world's least credible commandos in the jungle. The deep hurting has officially begun. The gauntlet has been thrown down. I may have to pull out a Pia Zadora movie.